Saturday, March 21, 2009

Not being able to get to sleep at night, feeling hungry but not wanting any food, and being stuck with no way out are some of the worst feelings in the world. And this week, I was stuck with no way out.

I know it was only our first week back from Spring Break, but I just really wanted to make it home for the weekend. I tried asking the one person I know from home who has a car here to see if there was any chance at all she was headed south. No, she wasn't. I tried to convince my dad to come and get me. "Dad, there's a wedding to go to." (there really is, it's today, I swear) "I just, I miss you." (like that was ever going to work) "I have to get a summer job, and I can't do that if I can't go around town picking up applications. . ."

And still the answer was no.

I even sunk so low as to ask an acquaintence. A person I met once, who USED to be good friends with one of my best friends, and who is currently dating one of my boyfriend's exes. Desperate? I'd say so. "No, I don't have a car here. Sorry."

It wasn't even the fact that I would be spending the weekend here instead of at home that upset me, it was that I was absolutely powerless. I had no say in the matter. No matter what I did, said, or how I felt, I couldn't change it. I was stuck.

I guess I'm going to have to find a job that will give me the funds to buy my own car...